Have you all seen the recent TikTok trend where fellow black women follow one another out of support and solidarity? Out of all the negativity in this world, this is one trend I can get behind! No, I won’t be diving into the issues TikTok presents or the trend’s racial or political nuances. I want to discuss seeing our individual and collective greatness and publicly celebrating it! Imagine if we all were to support one another in the most honest manner that feeds not only our souls but the souls of our fellow sisters in humanity. Let’s chat y’all about genuinely and honestly lifting one another up.

From early-year depictions of the “Mammie” to the modern-day “wise auntie,” middle age black women are far more than society’s purveyors of free wisdom and witty antidotes. Today’s middle-aged black woman has lived a life of experience, sometimes hard truths and other life events giving us the same insight into life as many others. The question remains, “When will we be embraced as beautiful, sensual, and sexy beings without exploitation?” Is society only giving us two options? “Be a vixen or be the burden bearer?” What if, as a collective community, woman to woman, we changed the narrative outside of TikTok and elevated one another not just for likes and follows but for affirmations of grandeur? To simplify, “issuing flowers to my fellow sisters for no other reason than making someone feel seen and valued.”

In the summer of 2022, I was having lunch with a girlfriend when our beautiful cocoa brown waitress stopped to take our drink order. Ever a lover of a good Sauvignon Blanc, I gave this queen my order and said, “…thank you, sis, and you are stunning. I appreciate you!” Baaaaby, when I tell you how she immediately loosened up and began to relax with us; it was indeed nerve-calming. Did I know her personally? No. Was she beautiful and essential to me through being my sister in this world? Yes! Her participation in life as my sister made her shine as a beautiful representation of life. I intended to acknowledge her and see her in a light another may not always share. With no motive beyond lifting her up, it took nothing to issue her what was hopefully a reminder that we could come together to love each other without ill intent. Contributing to her wellness cost me nothing but relaying the truth to her. The expression on her face was exemplary of the grace she needed in her day, and it took nothing from me to give it to her. I actually made her day. Suddenly, it occurred to me how much of an impact simple recognition of one another could be.

In creating a community of positive-minded women, we create safe spaces in which we can explore our confidence. Not being dependent upon those who may define our existence as little more than a fantasy, we can begin to see ourselves in a valuable and worthy space. Acceptance from our sisters gives us the collective power to normalize our version of beauty and sensuality. I want The Pink Cookie Shop and the “Cookie Squad” to be that beacon of change that transforms the norm.

Challenge alert! For the next month, I challenge you to selflessly lift another sister in humanity and remind her of her beauty at least once a week. Randomly offer kudos for a job well done or provide gentle encouragement when you see her struggle. Discover a detail about her that perhaps nobody else would compliment her for and acknowledge it. Reassure her she’s divine and worthy of all the spoils life offers. Give her the flowers she should have gotten when she extended grace to someone who failed to show her the same. Make her feel valued and worthy of love. Be genuinely kind when the situation calls for neutrality.

When we feel amazing, it reflects in our sensuality. The ability to connect with others and ourselves is uninhibited when our confidence grows, and insecurities are invalidated. As sisters, let us use simple acts of kindness, acceptance, and providing overwhelming love to one another as tools for raising the standard of how we view ourselves. Together, we can create safe spaces to exude the full spectrum of our strength and beauty. From boardrooms to bedrooms, we can support one another to collectively find our place in this world that doesn’t require a compromise of our wellness. Let’s start a movement Cookie Squad, it starts TODAY!

Share your “Stories of Sisterhood” I want to hear how you are making a difference and sharing the movement! Write to me at “AmberJoy@Pink-Cookie.com”

Be fabulous today my loves, and take another sis with you!

-Amber Joy

XOXO