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Overcoming Pleasure Shame: A Journey to Healing

Overcoming Pleasure Shame: A Journey to Healing


Hey there, I’m Amber Joy, the CEO and Founder of QUIVR. If you’re new here, “welcome” to the QUIVR community, where we believe that pleasure is not just a luxury but a vital part of our well-being. With that out of the way, I want to share a deeply personal journey with you that led me to overcome pleasure shame and discover the transformative power of embracing my own desires.

A Journey of Transformation:

I wasn’t always a pleasure enthusiast. In fact, I never considered my pleasure something worth pursuing with enthusiasm. I’m a sexual trauma survivor, and like many, I carried the weight of that experience with me for years. My trauma hindered my ability early in my sexual life to discern that I could experience pleasure when proper consent and mutual respect were present. More so, that pleasure and intentionally intimate encounters were simply a fundamental right as a human that I, too, deserved. I also battled body image issues, constantly feeling like I wasn’t “enough” to deserve pleasure. You know, pretty enough, thin enough, athletic enough, smart enough. I think you get the point. Sex, for me, felt imbalanced, and I often found myself prioritizing my partner’s pleasure over my own. Simply put, I didn’t know any better. 

The Turning Point

The realization that I was entitled to just as much pleasure as my partners marked a turning point in my life. I wanted to achieve balance and fulfillment in my pleasure journey, and I knew I wasn’t alone in this desire. This transformation from a “pleasure dud” to a pleasure pro opened up a world of possibilities.

The next logical step would be to explain exactly how I realized that. In understanding each of our journeys is distinctly unique, I’ll tell you the basic premise for the sake of sparing you a long story, “I got sick and tired of being the only one in the room not ecstatic about what just occurred.” Seriously! I started to suspect that orgasms were indeed real (because, honestly, I swear I thought people were lying), and not only were they real, but I also discovered you can still have a deeply fulfilling sexual experience without one! The key was always being able to prioritize my pleasure understanding I was more than deserving of it. I would never accept the minimum in my pleasure life again. *Insert record scratch!*  

Here are a few easy-to-try tips to get you started in the right direction in embracing your right to pleasure.

Practical Tips for Healing

  1. Self-Compassion: Start by showing yourself kindness and understanding. Acknowledge that pleasure shame is not uncommon, and it’s okay to take all the time you need to work towards healing actively. 
  2. Education: Knowledge is power. Explore resources, books, and articles on pleasure and intimacy to understand your desires and needs better. If you still need to become a QUIVR member, I encourage you to explore our options; we truly have something for everyone. Be sure to check out our book club when you arrive. 
  3. Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help you reconnect with your body and feelings, allowing you to be more present during intimate moments.
  4. Journaling: Keep a journal to record your thoughts, feelings, and progress on your pleasure journey. It’s a powerful way to track your growth. Be sure to download our 30-Day Journal of Self-Exploration.
  5. Communication: Open and honest communication with your partner(s) can be incredibly liberating. Share your desires, boundaries, and fantasies with them.
  6. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek support when needed. Joining a community like QUIVR can provide a safe space to discuss your journey and gain insights from experts and peers.

Join Us on Your Pleasure Journey

Embarking on a sexual wellness journey isn’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. The QUIVR community understands the challenges and triumphs of reclaiming your pleasure. Our QUIVR VIP Indulgent membership offers personalized coaching and guidance for those looking to embrace their desires fully.

Remember, there’s no shame in seeking pleasure – it’s a fundamental aspect of our well-being. You are entitled to safe, consensual, and respectful pleasure. So, let’s Explore, Discover, and Transform together. Your journey starts here.

Final Thoughts

Overcoming pleasure shame is a path to healing, self-discovery, and empowerment. I’ve been there, and I’m here to tell you that it’s possible to break free from the chains of shame and embrace a fulfilling pleasure journey. Take the first step, and know that you are deserving of the pleasure-filled life you desire.

Be Well,

Amber Joy, CEO & Founder


Unlock the power of self-discovery and pave the way for a fulfilling sexual wellness journey with the QUIVR 30 Day Journal of Self Exploration. This comprehensive journal is meticulously designed to guide you through a transformative 30-day experience, helping you set the foundation for a pleasure-filled life. As a trusted resource for our coaching clients, we believe that understanding yourself as a sexual being is the key to unlocking true fulfillment. Download your free 30-day journal today and embark on a journey of self-exploration. Gain clarity, embrace your desires, and uncover the depths of your authentic sexual self.

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